what are you working towards that you could use help with?

As a kid I assumed I would go to school, get married, and have kids. It seemed as though that is what everyone did, so it must be an easy plan. It has not turned out to be so easy. I guess school wasn't too bad. You know what to expect, for the most part, when it comes to schooling. Getting married didn't work out how I thought, however. I didn't get married until I was twenty-six. That's on the later end for girls in the LDS community. It was hard for me. I wanted to be married. I wanted to start my family. My least favorite question: "Are you dating anyone?" and when I answered no the response was even better, "Why?" Why would you ask someone why they weren't dating anyone? What answer are you looking for?

Well, I finally got the marriage thing sorted out. I found a really good one. Then the next step was to have kids, right. That shouldn't be too hard. Wrong again. First, I went on birth control when we first got married. That turned me in a crazy person. My periods lasted for two weeks, and I was an emotional nightmare. Poor Mister was probably wondering what he got himself into. I stayed on birth control for about a month or two, and then we decided to let fate take over. Well, fate decided to give us a lesson in patience. It took about a year and a half to get pregnant with Elle. I won't even start on the questions people ask about having babies and growing your family. Let's just leave it at this, there is never a need to ask anyone when they are going to start having kids, when they are going to grow their family, or why they don't have kids.

I know, I should consider myself blessed. Many cannot have children, or have to go to great lengths to make it happen. That doesn't change the fact that it was hard. Every month I had a frustrating reminder come and tell me that I was, once again, not pregnant. Some months I was sure I was pregnant. I drove myself crazy. Well, you know the ending to this story. Two years after we started trying for a baby we were blessed with Elle.

Now, here we are again trying to add to our family, and the timing is not what I would like. It's been over a year, and still no baby. I learned not to drive myself crazy this time though. According to my doctor, out of 100 couples only 50 will be pregnant after trying for six month. By the end of twelve months ninety percent of the couples will be pregnant. Mister and I are in the lucky ten percent. To make things even more fun, out of that ten percent, forty percent have a hard time getting pregnant because of female reproductive issues, forty percent have issues because of the male. Twenty percent can't get pregnant because of unknown reasons. That's us. We are the twenty percent out of the ten percent. We really should try for more lotteries.

For now, we have discovered that my Progesterone levels are low. I'm at a 1.9. The doctor explained that the preferred level is at least a 10. For now I try Clomid. This medication should hopefully raise my Progesterone levels and increase our chances of getting pregnant. It has some awesome side effects: ovulatory pain, hot flashes, night sweats, abdominal pain, nausea or vomiting, visual changes, headaches, abnormal bleeding, and the possibility of twins or triplets. For those of you who know me know that the idea of having twins is a nightmare. Oh well, I am willing to take the chance. Elle needs a sibling, and we want to grow our family. Hopefully it won't grow too quickly... Wish us luck!

how are you making a difference in the world?

Before I had Elle I was an elementary school teacher. It was the most rewarding and challenging job I have ever had. I loved teaching and I loved the students. I hated the hoops and all the people I had to please. I had to please the parents, the principal, the district, the state, and the list went on and on. Let's focus on what I loved. I loved seeing students light up when they finally caught on to a math concept. I loved seeing the pride in a child when they moved up a reading level. I loved seeing the surprise on a girl's face when she received 100% on a spelling test for the first time.

I loved the challenge of building a relationship with students that have been down on their luck for years -- who were known as the "bad kid". I have story after story of challenging students, and the transformation they had throughout the school year. I can testify that the children that are the hardest to love truly are the ones that need it the most. I also can attest to the fact that once you have earned their trust they will stay by your side forever. There are some students that will always have a piece of my heart. I won't ever forget them. I can't possibly forget them. They have helped make me who I am today. I never thought I could say that about nine and ten-year-olds, but it is true.

Although I am no longer a teacher, my influence on children remains. I have an influence on my own child, and hopefully future children. I have the opportunity to teach them how to be good people. I can show them the importance of integrity. I can prove to them that nothing feels better than honest, hard work. I can help them see that fairness doesn't necessarily mean equality. I can be an example of sympathy and kind-heartedness. I'm not a perfect parent, not will I ever be, but you better believe that I will try my hardest. The world needs that.

what is your perfect day?

My life is good. I really can't complain. Of course there are things I wouldn't mind changing, but I am so blessed. Mister is amazing, and Elle is the sweetest little toddler. We live in a great area with neighbors that would do just about anything for each other. However, if I could pick a perfect day it would probably look like this:

It would begin with me waking up on my own. No cat pawing at my face, no toddler yelling, "Mommy!" I would go downstairs and find Elle eating her breakfast perfectly. I would eat my own magically appearing plate of French toast with a glass of orange juice. The dishes would clean themselves, of course.

The morning weather would be sunny and beautiful. Elle and I would go for a walk, and when we got home she would play perfectly so I could take a nice shower and have plenty of time to get ready for the day. My mom would show up and we would shop the rest of the morning away. We would go to lunch and chat forever because Elle is eating her lunch like a champ.

When Elle and I get home we have some quality coloring time together before her nap. During her three hour nap I will read a good book while taking a bubble bath. After my bath, I would watch American Housewife while making a wreath. Mister would get home early, and we would drop Elle off to a babysitter so we could have a date night.

To start out the date Mister would take me to the mall and help me pick out a new outfit. We would then eat a delicious dinner. After dinner we would make our way to a Jazz game, then spend the night at a nice hotel.

Oh, man. That is what dreams are made of.

pink & gold baby shower

This weekend I had the opportunity to go down to St. George all by myself. All.by.myself. Of course, the laws of nature decided that they wanted me to stay home. Even St. George was hit with snow, and the entire state's temperatures were below freezing. I made up my mind that I wouldn't chance it on icy roads and stay home.

Early Friday afternoon, a neighbor of mine mentioned on Facebook that they were on their way to St. George. After some conversation back and forth, I decided the roads were safe enough to be traveled. I'm so glad I went because the roads were just fine, and I had a blast hanging out with my sisters and mom.

My youngest sister, Rylee, is due with her first little baby at the beginning of February, so we wanted to shower her with some love and gifts. When planning her shower we decided to forgo a theme, and just go with the colors gold, pink, and peach. It turned out perfectly!

When the guests walked in they were asked to write their address on an envelope for Rylee to use for "thank you" cards. They also had the chance to name the baby. Rylee got a lot of really cute name suggestions. I might even steal a few...

The food table was the best! We made Caesar salad, artichoke dip, cream cheese raspberry chipotle dip, and ham & cheese sliders. The desserts were just as yummy. We had knock-off Swig sugar cookies, white chocolate dipped rice crispy treats, and popcorn. Many guests commented on how they liked Whitnee's sugar cookies better than Swig's. Sorry Swig!

The biggest hit of the party was the drink bar. We had vanilla, raspberry, peach, coconut, and pomegranate syrups; vanilla Coffee Mate cream; and Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, and Sprite sodas. I made a drink menu with some mix ideas, and we made sure to have an ice bucket full of pellet ice.

For the drink menu, I added the baby mama and dad's favorite drinks, and other family favorites. I assigned each drink a baby shower appropriate name, and categorized them according the the base soda in the drink. It was a fun to talk about the different drinks everyone chose to mix. (Free download at the bottom of the post.)

My mom and my sister Jessica were the brains behind the decor. This banner was made out of treat bags. It was such a cheap and easy way to decorate. Don't you worry, I won't leave you high a dry without a tutorial.

Materials you will need are enough treat bags for the size of banner you want to make, scissors, ruler, pencil, double sided tape or glue stick, and ribbon or string.

On the opening side of the treat bag, make a mark with a pencil in the middle of the bag.

Draw a straight line connecting the corner of the bottom of the bag to the pencil mark you made in the middle of the bag. Repeat for the other bottom corner.

Cut along you lines and you will be left with a triangle. The top of the triangle should be the sealed bottom part of the bag - perfect for draping over a ribbon or string.

Open your bag triangle, and insert the ribbon or string.

Glue or tape the top and bottom triangles together so they won't separate and fall off the ribbon. Repeat steps until you have the desired length of banner. You can add letters to spell something, or just leave the triangles.

Click the picture to download the drink menu.

what was your childhood dream?

First thing that came to mind when I saw this question was the game M.A.S.H. that I played all.the.time growing up. You know the one:

M.A.S.H.

Occupation
Dentist
Lawyer
Teacher
Plumber

Car
Infinity QX80
1950's Chevy Truck
Jeep Wrangler
School Bus

Husband
George Clooney
Harrison Ford
Jake Gyllenhaal
Mr. Bean

Number of Kids
2
3
4
25

City I Live In
Paris
New York
Los Angeles
Bunkerville

Pet
Dog
Cat
Fish
Porcupine

I had Google randomly pick a number between 1 and 10, here are my results: I live in a shack in Los Angeles with Jake Gyllenhaal. We have 4 kids and a pet fish. I drive my Infinity to my dental office everyday for work. Thank you lucky number seven!

Seriously though, as a kid I didn't have one huge dream that I held onto forever. I was pretty flippant. I guess the most stable wish I had for my future was that I would marry and have kids. I wanted to be like my mom. Heck, I still want to be like my mom. I know I did toss around the idea of being a dentist, lawyer, teacher, and orthodontist. None of them stuck for a long period of time though.

I would love to hear your childhood dreams, and your M.A.S.H. stories. Nothing is more realistic than M.A.S.H. results.

what challenge do you want to overcome?

I have learned that I have very little self-control. Do you want to watch another 4 hours of Netflix even though you shouldn't? Sure! Do you want to eat that brownie even though you ate half the brownie batter while it was cooking? Sure! Do you want to sleep an extra 10 minutes instead of showering? Absolutely! I've learned that being a stay-at-home mom makes it even worse. I don't really have anyone to answer to. I mean, I have Mister, but he is so understanding and kind that he wouldn't judge me even if he knew how.

It's really easy for me to watch an extra show or two, or double-tap a million more pictures on Instagram while Elle is playing nicely instead of cleaning up the kitchen or vacuuming. This challenge has been hard for me to overcome because I don't have anyone around during the day to cheer me on, or nudge me in the right direction. It is just me and my limited self-control. I know it isn't going to happen overnight, but I need to come up with some benchmarks to help me see improvement. If I don't see improvement I give up on most things pretty easily.

I'm opening myself up here. If any of you have any suggestions for me I would love to hear them!

what would you do if you were not afraid?

Immature, late bloomer, loud, obnoxious, impulsive, overweight... I grew up with these labels. As an adult I am scared of what others think of me. First impressions terrify me; they matter a lot to humans. I prefer sitting at home and being with my family, mostly because I love spending time with my family, also because social situations give me anxiety. I hate small talk. I fail at it every time. Unless I am talking to a person that is great at carrying conversation, the chatting dies fairly quickly.

A lot of my friends have told me that when they first met me they thought I was full of myself. I am very talkative and animated when I am in a familiar crowd, but stick in a stranger and my lips are sealed. Many perceive this as me thinking that I am too good for them, when in reality I am terrified of what they might think of me.

I am fully aware that this is something I need to work on. I am missing out on a lot of great relationships because of my self-consciousness. I am making progress though. Little by little, I am accepting myself for who I am. It helps that I have a great husband. Mister hates it when I put myself down. It has made me really think about what I say. My friends help me too. It helps to know that people like me for who I am. I like being surrounded by people who know my weaknesses and love me anyway - there is nothing my empowering.

what risk are you happy that you took?

My final year of college I had a choice to finish like the majority - student teaching, teacher work sample, Praxis tests, and graduation - or I could do an internship. With an internship I would teach my final semester of school; skip student teaching (since I would already be teaching); finish college classes, my teacher work sample, and pass the Praxis test while teaching full-time; and graduate from college halfway through the elementary school year. I decided pretty quickly that an internship sounded too difficult so I would go the normal route, and do my student teaching.

A couple weeks after my decision my friend Chelci told me that they were doing teaching internship interviews in northern Utah. She told me I should apply. I laughed at her. If I didn't think I could handle doing an internship while being close to home, what made me think I could do it across the state from my family? The more I thought about it, the more I felt I should try, so I applied to intern up north. I figured my odds were pretty low since they had never selected anyone from my college before for this particular internship.

Much to my surprise, I received a phone call days later from a principal that was interested in interviewing me for an intern position. I didn't know what to do. It happened so fast. I agreed to a phone interview that would happen in a few more days. The next day I was telling one of my professors about the opportunity I had to interview for the internship. She wisely suggested that if there was any way that I could get up north and interview in person, that I should do it. It just turned out that my friend Chelci had a teaching interview up north the same day that the face-to-face intern interviews were happening. We ended up carpooling up north together for our interviews.

I still remember the shock on my dad's face when he asked why I was packing, and I explained to him about the interview. Days earlier I wasn't even considering an internship. I was a mess during the interview. I stumbled through the questions and tried to use as much "teacher lingo" as  I could. I thought I had completely blew it. What were the odds that they would pick someone like me from a very small college when they could get any student they wanted from the bigger universities up north? Believe it or not, I received a phone call a few days later from a principal at a school in Spanish Fork offering me a job as a 4th grade intern at his elementary school. It was so surreal.

I was so nervous. I had next to no teaching experience on  my own, and I was moving to an area where I knew no one. This would be my first time living away from home. What was I getting myself into? I'm not going to lie, it was a hard year. When I look back to any photos taken of me that year I had dark circles under my eyes, my hair was in desperate need of a haircut, and none of my clothes fit me from a dramatic weight-loss. I couldn't afford to go home and visit my family, and I'm pretty sure I was one step away from a complete nervous breakdown.

Although this internship taught me a lot, and opened up a lot of doors in my career for me, that isn't why I am glad I took the risk. I very much believe that if it weren't for that internship I wouldn't have moved to northern Utah, and if I wouldn't have moved up north I wouldn't have met the love of my life. It took me a couple of years to meet him, but Mister just lived up the street from me. Talk about a blessing in disguise.

what is most important to you?

Elle's blessing day

When I first saw this question I thought I knew my answer immediately, family. As I thought more about it, however, I realized that the most important part of my life is my faith, my beliefs, my religion. To be fair, though, my religion is centered around families.

Who I am, and my actions are based off of my belief system. I love my parents and my family because I know the importance of families in God's plan for me. I respect my parents because it is commanded of me, and I know it's right. Education is important to me. I love learning, and it is because the more I learn the more I see God's hand in everything.

The theory of evolution makes me laugh. With everything I know about the human body and is complexities I cannot fathom the idea that it happened by a single cell splitting over and over again. The big bang theory is just as hilarious to me. This earth is in the perfect condition for life, and you want me to believe it was out if luck? We have a living Heavenly Father that sent His son to create this world for us. That same son came down to Earth later, as a baby boy, and lived a perfect life so he could become our Savior.

My religion has taught me that I am a daughter of God, and that I should live my life in a way that He would see fit. I should serve and love others. I should respect my spirit and my body enough to reserve myself for the man that will become my husband. I should learn more about my Father in Heaven and my brother, Jesus Christ so I can emulate their attributes and become more like them.

I know, through my religion, that there is life after death. I know that I can be with my family forever of I live a life worthy of that blessing. That is why my religion is the most important to me. I want my family forever, and because of my religion I know how.

skipping the small talk, and getting straight to business

I love watching Ted Talks on YouTube. I feel renewed in a different way with every one I watch. Recently I stumbled across a Ted Talk about talking big instead of using small talk with those around us. Essentially she spoke on how we could get to know anyone better if we ask more meaningful questions. I am terrible at small talk. I always get awkward and run out of things to say, like I have a certain script to follow, and once the script has been rehearsed I'm out of ideas.

For the new year I want to take the time to get to know myself better, and it turn, allowing you to get to know me better as well. I'm really good at putting up walls and barriers. I shut myself out to avoid getting hurt. In January, the walls com down. That could be a good or bad thing. Hopefully I don't get too up close and personal, but I won't apologize for any of it. Welcome 2017!

celebrating the holidays in style

The holidays are so fun with a kiddo. I love that Elle is old enough to get excited about stuff. She loves "San-sa", Christmas lights, and snowmen. Earlier this month it snowed pretty good, and it wasn't bitter cold outside, so Elle and I built a snowman. The snow was perfect for building snowmen - wet and sticky. It didn't stay cold for long, but our snowman held on pretty well.

Elle loved that snowman. Every time we ran errands Elle would say, "Bye no-man" as we drove away. Our Frosty just kept leaning further and further. He never tipped over though. One day it rained, and the rain dissolved him. Elle was pretty sad that day. We were at church, and on the walk home she saw her melted buddy, "Aw, no-man...". It was a pretty sad day.

The gingerbread house was a much bigger hit than the gingerbread cookies. Elle loved eating the frosting and candy. Eventually she caught on to the whole decorating part, and stuck on a few "cannies" of her own.

That's a pretty good looking gingerbread house if I do say so myself. I was lazy and bought a kit at Target. It worked out great. It was nice not to have to make the frosting and buy a bunch of candy.

After asking around, I heard that Riverwoods and Trolley Square have the best Santas, and that you can take your own pictures. We decided to make it a night and go to Trolley Square and hit up Temple Square after to see the lights. Elle wasn't so sure about Santa even though I tried to prep her the best I could. We even FaceTimed Santa a few time earlier that day, but it didn't work. Even with the candy cane offering she wanted nothing to do with him.  Maybe next year, Santa.

 

Temple Square was a hit. That picture isn't the best quality, but it shows the joy that was on Elle's face the entire time. She loved the lights. It was definitely worth the 1.5 hour drive up to Salt Lake (twice as long as it should have taken).

It really is a sight to see. This was my second time seeing the lights, and it is breathtaking every time. We were really lucky with weather, too. The temperature was in the 50's, and since it was threatening rain it wasn't incredibly busy either.

It ended up being a pretty late night, but we had a lot of fun together as a family. We are home-bodies, and don't get out much. Every time we have a night like this, though, I wish we would fight our laziness and get out more.

elle-isms

I know this sweet and innocent-looking girl may make it seem like we never have to deal with the typical toddler problems. For some reason I never think to pull out the camera while she's throwing herself on the floor in a limp pile while screaming at the top of her lungs. I wonder why that never crosses my mind? To be real, I feel as though we got lucky in the toddler department. She really is pretty good. That doesn't mean we don't have our moments though. Last night at Costco, for example, we were eating in the food court, and the peace didn't last long. I had cut up half of Elle's super large slice of pizza to cut down on the mess. She ate most of it, but as soon as she saw the ice cream Mister bought it all went downhill. I told her she needed to eat three more bites and she could have some ice cream. Seems pretty simple, right? Wrong. Meltdown city. I'm pretty sure all of Costco was staring at us. It is so hard to discipline a screaming, limp child in public. First off, reasoning with a toddler is an art in itself, but if they have already lost it - good luck. We ended up heading straight to the car. We do have some really great moments with Elle though, and that's really what I wanted to talk about.

Elle is very particular. She remembers which basket each of the toys go in without me saying a word to her. To be honest, I don't care which basket the toys go in as long as they get cleaned up. For a few days we were missing the top to a block train we had. Mister found it under the TV stand and set it on the ledge of the stand. It stayed up there for a day or two simply because neither of us really cared enough to put it away. I saw it the other day, and put it back in the box with the other train blocks. This morning, Elle was playing with the train. When she was done she cleaned up the blocks, but she made sure to put the top of the train on the TV stand because that's where it had been the last few days. It's funny to see what she observes.

Elle is working hard on learning the English language. She does pretty good considering that she's only been alive for two years. Here's some of my favorite Elle-isms to date:

Za-pee = Pizza

I carry you = Will you carry me?

Huh on = Take it off

Stin-y = Stinky or poopy

Pood Ke-ee = The kitty needs more food

Naow - Milk

No-man = Snowman

Luh you = I love you

Na-nite = Goodnight

Shash can = Trashcan

Serius = Cereal

Nummy = This tastes delicious

*Grunt or growl* = I do not like it

Me = Mickey

Beh = I'm tired, or I want to go to bed

Dunny = Bunny (her lovey)

Show = Turn on the TV stat

I love how quickly she is learning. It has been so great to have the ability to communicate with her more. Today's recipe would get a big grunt from Elle, but it is a favorite of Mister's and mine.

Bow Tie Chicken Caesar Salad

Ingredients

1 bag of Caesar salad mix (I absolutely love the Marketplace brand from Walmart)

            This mix should include lettuce, Parmesan cheese, croutons, and dressing.

1 cup of chicken (cooked and shredded or diced)

1 1/2 cups bow tie noodles (prepared)

1/3 cup bacon (crumbled - I just use bacon bits)

Instructions

Mix everything together and enjoy! We have used this as a meal, but it is also a great side or served at a party as an appetizer.

project life: how to make a scrapbook page on your phone

Yesterday I mentioned my love for the Project Life app. It is my favorite way to document my family photos. I wanted to do a follow up post showing how simple it is to use. I will be showing you screenshots from my IOS phone. I'm not sure if they have an app for Android devices, but I know they are working on it.

When you open the app you will have the option to make a collage, create a page, look at your past projects, ask a question, or order prints. In this post will will be focusing on the blue quadrant, making a page.

The first thing you will need to do is pick a layout and a color pallet. To choose a color pallet, tap on the button at the top left (with three horizontal lines). You can also change the color of the background of your page.

When you tap on a square in the layout you have the option of placing a picture or a filler/journal card. The photo button will take you directly to your phone's photo gallery.

The filler card button will bring you to the card kits you have. You will receive a few free ones automatically, and the rest average between $0.99 to $1.99.  You do not need to use the same kit for each filler card on a page. You can mix and match if you would like.

The journaling card will give you the option to add text. You can manipulate the text in various ways. You can change the text color, font, size, line spacing, vertical offset, and justification.

Once your page is completed it will automatically save to the app. One danger to this is that if you lose the app, you lose your pages. Knowing this, you will most likely want to back up your pages on your computer or other cloud device. When you are ready, you can either choose to print through Project Life, or export the image and send it to another printing company. As of now, Project Life charges $1.99 for each 12x12 page with a flat $5.00 shipping fee. I love this new way to scrapbook. It has been a serious game changer for me. If you have any more questions on the Project Life app they have a bunch of tutorial videos on YouTube.

project life: everything you need to know about the app

Scrapbooking. Am I the only one that feels pressure to document my family's life through scrapbooks? I started young. I used colored paper, scissors, and glue to organize the photos my mom took of me. I loved it. I had a blast being creative and making each page look special. It was so time consuming, and messy though. Oh, the mess. Scraps of paper everywhere and sticky fingers from the glue sticks. As a mom, I feel it is my duty to keep track of my family's comings and goings. That is partially what this blog is for, but I want something more concrete. Something I can hold in my hands.

The heavens shined down on me the day I discovered Project Life. I had heard of it many times from friends, but I never looked into it. It seemed like a good idea, printing out your pictures, buying their filler cards, and stuffing them all in a page protector. The problem was it still took time, and it felt like a nightmare to print off all the photos off my phone. The magic was when I discovered the Project Life app. Could I really create all of my scrapbook pages on my phone? Yes, yes I could.

On the app you can pick from different layouts, add the photos from your phone, and dress it up with filler cards and text. You can also order the prints directly from your phone as well, or you can export the image and order the prints from somewhere else. If you order the prints directly from Project Life it will cost you $1.99 for each 12x12 print and a flat rate of $5 for shipping. I was curious on the print quality if  I ordered through Project Life. I was pleasantly surprised. I received my prints within a week, and they were all printed on high quality photo paper. I have dubbed this my new form of scrapbooking. I love the ease without having to take away the quality or look of the product. Check out my post on how to use Project Life.

I am in no way affiliated with Project Life. I simply love the product and wanted to share it with others.