what are you working towards that you could use help with?

As a kid I assumed I would go to school, get married, and have kids. It seemed as though that is what everyone did, so it must be an easy plan. It has not turned out to be so easy. I guess school wasn't too bad. You know what to expect, for the most part, when it comes to schooling. Getting married didn't work out how I thought, however. I didn't get married until I was twenty-six. That's on the later end for girls in the LDS community. It was hard for me. I wanted to be married. I wanted to start my family. My least favorite question: "Are you dating anyone?" and when I answered no the response was even better, "Why?" Why would you ask someone why they weren't dating anyone? What answer are you looking for?

Well, I finally got the marriage thing sorted out. I found a really good one. Then the next step was to have kids, right. That shouldn't be too hard. Wrong again. First, I went on birth control when we first got married. That turned me in a crazy person. My periods lasted for two weeks, and I was an emotional nightmare. Poor Mister was probably wondering what he got himself into. I stayed on birth control for about a month or two, and then we decided to let fate take over. Well, fate decided to give us a lesson in patience. It took about a year and a half to get pregnant with Elle. I won't even start on the questions people ask about having babies and growing your family. Let's just leave it at this, there is never a need to ask anyone when they are going to start having kids, when they are going to grow their family, or why they don't have kids.

I know, I should consider myself blessed. Many cannot have children, or have to go to great lengths to make it happen. That doesn't change the fact that it was hard. Every month I had a frustrating reminder come and tell me that I was, once again, not pregnant. Some months I was sure I was pregnant. I drove myself crazy. Well, you know the ending to this story. Two years after we started trying for a baby we were blessed with Elle.

Now, here we are again trying to add to our family, and the timing is not what I would like. It's been over a year, and still no baby. I learned not to drive myself crazy this time though. According to my doctor, out of 100 couples only 50 will be pregnant after trying for six month. By the end of twelve months ninety percent of the couples will be pregnant. Mister and I are in the lucky ten percent. To make things even more fun, out of that ten percent, forty percent have a hard time getting pregnant because of female reproductive issues, forty percent have issues because of the male. Twenty percent can't get pregnant because of unknown reasons. That's us. We are the twenty percent out of the ten percent. We really should try for more lotteries.

For now, we have discovered that my Progesterone levels are low. I'm at a 1.9. The doctor explained that the preferred level is at least a 10. For now I try Clomid. This medication should hopefully raise my Progesterone levels and increase our chances of getting pregnant. It has some awesome side effects: ovulatory pain, hot flashes, night sweats, abdominal pain, nausea or vomiting, visual changes, headaches, abnormal bleeding, and the possibility of twins or triplets. For those of you who know me know that the idea of having twins is a nightmare. Oh well, I am willing to take the chance. Elle needs a sibling, and we want to grow our family. Hopefully it won't grow too quickly... Wish us luck!