life, death, & tender mercies

Let me tell you a little bit about my brother-in-law, Mitch. Mitch was an amazing man. He was so kind, generous, and smart. He was willing to do anything for anyone. He, on multiple occasions, helped fix our computers, babysit at a moment's notice, and made us laugh. He was such a good uncle. He was one of the first to make Ellie laugh. I remember when he was dating Brittany and he wanted to use our garage to build her a sailboat. Who does that? Mitch does that. Mitch always made me feel like a culinary genius. His favorite meal that I made was my homemade Cafe Rio, and he could never get enough of the cilantro lime rice. He kept Brittany in line, yet couldn't get enough of her. He was the best.

On February 25th, I was in St. George visiting family. I had been there all week and Jeremy was supposed to come down the next day after work to spend the weekend with us and drive Ellie and me home on Sunday. Thursday night I called Jeremy before I went to bed to say goodnight. He was having fun with his brother Jake, so our conversation was short because I didn't want to keep him. At midnight my phone woke me up. It was Jeremy. He was at the hospital. He told me that Mitch and Brittany went to the gym earlier that night and when they got home Mitch was having some pain in his lungs. He started pacing while Brittany found him some pain meds. The next thing she knew he called out for her and collapsed. He never woke again. He was 24. Brittany is 25 years old and a widow.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was sick to my stomach and in shock. I felt so alone. Jeremy couldn't come get me because he was with Brittany (as he should be) and I had no way home. I spent most of Friday sobbing or in denial. I finally found a way home at got back around ten o'clock that night. It felt good to be back with Jeremy. I slept much better that night. Brittany was being brave and spent the night at her house with her mom.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is bizarre. A small part of you knows they are gone, so you constantly have an empty feeling. The rest of you doesn't want to believe it. You keep thinking that he'll be back to talk more nerd talk that is completely over your head. Every day lasts forever. You keep wanting it to end hoping that the next day will be easier. It does get a little easier, but mainly because you get more caught up in your denial.

I am so very blessed to know of God's plan. I know that I'll see Mitch again. I know he and Brittany will be reunited. I know families are forever through priesthood power. I also know that God loves my family and me. I know this through the tender mercies he has shown us.

Tender Mercy #1: Jake & Jeremy got to spend one last time with him.

Earlier that night, Mitch and Brittany came over to help Jeremy get some stuff at Home Depot with their truck. Jake came also, and they were able to spend just a little bit more time with their brother-in-law before he left them.

Tender Mercy #2: I was in St. George.

Although it was hard being away from Jeremy at a time like this, it left him distraction-free to be there for Brittany.

Tender Mercy #3: Mitch was going to BYU.

Since Mitch was attending BYU, he and Brittany lived close. This gave us the opportunity to spend more time with him. It also gave Ellie a chance to know him. Although she won't remember him when she gets older, we have plenty of videos and pictures of him with her to tell her about him when she gets older.

I am so grateful for my knowledge of God's plan. I am grateful for the sealing power of the priesthood. I am grateful for the atonement and for the opportunity we have to live again. Life is short. Sometimes you have no idea how short it can be. I plan to take advantage of every moment I can and spend it with family.